Monday, August 18, 2008

Patience

I have been finding myself amazed at how impatient I've been feeling to have another child. Since we were not even trying to get pregnant with Marcail and Donovan, it has thrown me a little that now that we are "trying," it hasn't happened right away. I constantly have to tell myself that I've given the timing over to God and it all rests in His Hands. He orchestrates purposes that I am not privy to understand. Nor does He come to me and discuss why He's doing it, and ask if its alright with me. Most of the time I am content with that, and can actually find relief that it is not up to me, that it is not my burden to bear. But sometimes, in the stillness of the night, in the quiet places of my heart, I yearn for more little babies to hold and touch. More little Makinson pattering feet and heart-melting smiles and laughs.
Of course, I also realize that even if it is 2 more months or so before we are pregnant, it would still mean that I would have 3 children under 3 years old. And then I think to myself that maybe I need to reconsider that yearning : ) and just thoroughly enjoy only having 2 children for now.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

hang in there, friend. it will happen! :)

emily said...

Yes...it is totally different with 3 so have patience...enjoy the WONDERFUL two that you have because you never know what the third one will be like...I am thinking you will have an Evan sometime!! Ha ha! I will be praying for peace for you! I know how frustrating it can be...but I look back and know that with each one they came at the right time.

Anonymous said...

I can imagne and understand your feelings, i longed for it too (for a very long time). But like you said, it's better that we can't control it. I really do hope you will have a positive test soon!!!

Love, Annemieke