Home

Well, we are back in the Carolinas, and I can't adequately express how pleased I feel to be back home.  There is nothing like being with family, and watching your children play with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  It just warms my heart!  Plus, it is so GREEN here!  Wow!  It is just about the most beautiful and refreshing thing I could lay my eyes on.  So pretty.  Tomorrow we will leave Seneca and head to Franklin, and begin our flurry of activities; setting up for the wedding and reception, going through the  rehearsal and dinner, and then the bridal shower for April.  Of course there will be diapers to change, chasing after the children, etc., interspersed throughout the fun chaos : )  And then the wedding on Saturday!  Besides seeing April and Daniel getting married, the highlight will be seeing family and friends again!!!  I can hardly wait!!!    

It's a Happy Birthday

I was given, out of the blue, a gift card to Carrabbas. I had run into a friend and his wife a few weeks back and we had talked for about 15 minutes before parting ways. I must have casually mentioned that I'd be turning 25 soon, because 2 weeks later Andrew came home with a birthday card in hand from this man and his wife! I could not have been more touched and surprised. Then another friend found out that we were planning to use the gift card to Carrabbas, and they gave me ANOTHER one, to make sure that we would have a nice meal! And another friend offered to baby-sit so we could have a romantic evening. I don't know if you've ever felt like God has reached down and given you a big hug and a kiss, but it is wonderful! We had a fabulous dinner together. Their tiramisu, by the way, is delectable.

Home Bug

Every 3 months or so I get the "Lets just leave here and move back HOME!" Bug.  I've got it pretty good this time.  Maybe its inspired by the fact that we are going back home for April's wedding, in less than a week.  I've been online today looking at homes in North Carolina and South Carolina today, going, "You can get all THAT for $150,000?" Because here you can only get a shack for that amount of money.  Plus, I miss the green so much.  Mostly, I miss just knowing that I never grew up with cousins, aunts, uncles, & grandparents, and I've always wanted a close knit family experience for my children.  Still, they are young, and maybe when they are older and able to appreciate cousins, we will be able to move back home.....

Lifted

Tonight I was brushing my teeth, going over the events of the past few days. I started thinking about the poem, "FootPrints," which most of you probably know. There's a man who sees in a dream two sets of Footprints spanning time. But he notices that during the really painful times in his life, there was only one set. Hurt, he asks Jesus, "Why, in the most distressing times of my life did You abandon me, when I really needed You most?" And Jesus just looks at him warmly and replies, "My son, I never left you. Those times that you see were when I carried you."
And then it struck me, that is how I feel.... I feel lifted. Somehow lifted over the depths of grief, lifted over the potential depression. Not as though I've escaped the pain altogether, but somehow shielded, as though SomeOne is bearing the heavy burden with me, for me. Today I still laughed, relished the upturned faces of my beautiful children, laid in the grass and gazed at the clouds, thanked God over and over for the honor of marrying my husband. No one has stolen the joy in my heart.
So I want to thank every one of you for lifting me/us up in prayer. I am awed at the the tangible way I have felt the arms of the Father upholding me. I know I have you to thank for that. Please never doubt that He hears. Please always remember that He cares for you.

Its Official

Today I have started exhibiting all of the miscarriage symptoms.  The baby is gone.  We were still hoping for a miracle but I guess God had other plans.  Both Andrew and I had the same thought running through our minds, which I thought was interesting- "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.  Blessed is the Name of the Lord."  I suppose people who don't know Jesus would think it wacky that this would give us comfort.  But it does.  To know that God is Sovereign is huge for us.  Still, I feel like hermitting for a week and working through the emotions.  I don't suppose its wrong to grieve for a child, as young as it was.  I think its easy to take for granted what a delicate dance of perfection human life is.  It is so beautifully fragile.  

My Special Blessings

More News

The past few days have been filled with many ups and downs and I didn't want to post any news until we were sure.  But I just received the news from the doctor that our baby won't make it.  We are miscarrying this child.  We have been hoping for the best, so hearing this confirmation is actually harder than I thought it would be, even though I also was trying to brace myself for the worst.  Please be praying for us.  I am grateful that this is at least happening early on, and not when I'm 8 months along.  But it is still painful.

I have 2 beautiful and amazing children, and I'm sure that we will have more.  There is much to be thankful for. 

Lately

I have just been physically exhausted the few days, and my thoughts have been so jumbled up and unorganized.  I think I'll excuse myself by saying it's because of the pregnancy : )  I have 3 envelopes that I have addressed, stamped, licked, and everything.... as of a WEEK ago, and they are still not in the mailbox.  Sigh.  So that's just one example : )  Other than that, everything is great.  I think I need to get back to writing out my daily lists the night before.  That should help a little bit. 

Confirmed Pregnancy!

Today the doctor was able to confirm that we are pregnant!  An ultrasound is scheduled for the 23rd, so I will be able to give the due date at that time!

New Game

As many know, Makinsons love playing games and learning new ones.  Last night we played with some friends, "Cash Flow" by Robert Kiyosaki.  Now, I've never enjoyed Monopoly, but I LOVED this game.... and I beat everyone : )  I will play it again anytime!  The concepts are amazing.  Totally check it out. 

A Date

We have a beautiful little paved path that runs behind our house.  This morning, Andrew told me we were going to rollerblade there today.  I don't think I've rollerbladed since we left Franklin!  We used to do it all the time while we were dating... not that I'm great at it or anything.  In fact, he convinced me he loved me by thinking I was beautiful even though I looked like a dork : )  Now, THATS true love!

  So this afternoon, we raced down the hill, pulled our skates on and off we went.  It was so pretty outside today.  We talked and laughed, I almost fell, but didn't (YAY!), Andrew showed off (as usual, and I beamed with pride), and had a wonderful little date.  I'm sure I love him more all the time, but I'm sure I fell in love with him all over again. 

Surprise!

I walked in the room to get the babies up from their naps and found Donovan just like this ; )

How cute!  He and Marcail were talking back and forth to each other and giggling like crazy.