11 week baby appointment

As I've mentioned before, my 11 week appointment (which was yesterday morning) with the doctor was both something I was both excited and nervous about. Andrew came with me, and someone watched Marcail and Donovan for us.

As my doctor moved the doppler over my lower belly, we waited with expectancy to hear a little heartbeat. But we heard nothing. My doctor took a few minutes to slowly inch her way way across the belly, and a little up and a little down. Nope, still nothing. My heart was pounding so hard, and I kept thinking, "I can't do this all over again!," as I was fighting back tears. Finally Dr.Cassidy said, "We might need to take you to an ultrasound just to see what's going on in there." It was a replay of my last miscarriage, and my mind was swimming.

She took one last quick swipe across my belly, a little higher this time. "Oh! There it is!" she exclaimed and flashed me a huge smile. She hovered the doppler over the heartbeat and said, "I'm just going to keep this here a minute and let you enjoy that sound...." I finally breathed! : ) The sound of the baby's heart was so beautiful. It was music to my ears and a huge relief to my heart. Our little baby was doing just fine. The heartbeat was steady and strong, 163 beats per minute --- which means it's a girl : ) Haha! No, I'm just teasing Andrew because he thinks its a boy : )

Thankful for Thanksgiving

In less than two weeks, we are headed out on a loooonnnng road trip; we are going back to the Carolinas for 2 weeks during Thanksgiving! We'll arrive late on Monday, the 23rd, and head back on Friday, Dec. 4th.

I am SO excited and find it humorous how many times during the day I become thrilled just thinking about it : ) Andrew is hoping to actually have a vacation where we get some down-time, but with so many friends and family to see, I wonder how much down-time we will really get : )

For those of you that want to see us, email me and let me know what days/hours work best for you. Most of our schedule for the 2 weeks is unplanned and open. My guess is that with our schedule being so open and flexible, its easier for us to fit into your calendar, than the other way around.

See you soon!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

So here is a photo of my 9 week pregnant belly. I wasn't kidding when I said it was HUGE already --- normally, this is what I look like at 4-5 months, not two. Earlier this week, my lower back was hurting so much, I could hardly walk; my theory is that there has been so much growth on my front, that my back muscles couldn't adapt quickly enough.

Nonetheless, I am sooooo happy that the baby is apparently growing so well!

When Normal is Good!

About 2 weeks ago, at my last doctor's visit, I had eleven viles of blood drawn. Eleven. Twenty viles make one liter, so that's a lot of blood. If you understood how squeamish I am around needles, you would know what a champion I am for having gone through with it! : )

My doctor wanted to be able to rule out any kind of blood disorders that would cause two miscarriages in a row, and she wanted to have that info to help prevent another loss. So to the lab I went. What a woman will do for a baby, right?!? As the technician took my blood, which took about 15 minutes of "needle time," I asked her if it was going to be okay for me to drive home right away. She chuckled and said, "Oh honey, its not like you're donating blood." Oh really??? Actually, I'm only doing this for a very noble cause!!!

Anyways, this morning, I got the results in the mail. Everything that potentially could have been a problem is normal! I am so happy! One of the blood disorders would have required an injection every day for the rest of the pregnancy (and any other pregnancies I might have). I probably don't have to explain that this would have been, well, less than fun : )

The News We've All Been Waiting For..... : )

Yes! We are pregnant with a little baby! The due date is June 7th, and we and so many others have been furiously praying for this darling child. I have to admit that being pregnant is as much a faith walk as trying forever to get pregnant.

We had an ultrasound at 6 weeks, which was about 2 weeks ago. I was so nervous, I actually accidentally showed up an hour before my appointment thinking I was on time! Andrew met me there at the correct time : ) , and when the technician called us back, my heart was pounding out of my throat. The room she viewed the baby in, happened to be the same room where I was informed in February that the baby had no heartbeat--- so you can imagine the emotion in me as I was prepping to see this child. You can also imagine my relief and joy as we saw a tiny healthy heartbeat!

The baby is now 8 weeks along, but my belly thinks that I must be at least 3 months along, because it is HUGE already. I can hardly believe it, but I am soooo thankful! When I walk past a mirror and see the swollen belly, I have to smile. Some days it takes work to not analyze whether my belly has "shrunk" (bad sign) or "expanded" (good sign). But there is no doubt that in the last couple weeks it has only grown, so,....... YAY!!!! : ) Now to find some pants that can fit me. Hmmmmm.

My next appointment is the middle of November, and I both cannot wait for it, and am certainly dreading it. How do I prepare myself for whatever happens??? It seems to me that life is full of circumstances where I simply have to trust the Lord with it. The circumstances are different in different seasons of life, but there is always something going on that require faith to walk in all of it!

And we are moved!

This is the first time that I've been online in over a week or so...... whew, what a ride!!!! We are semi-settled in our new place. That means that our garage is FULL of "stuff" and we are still digging through the piles to find random things that we need.

We spent the first few days tearing down very ill-done wallpaper, scrubbing the walls, and repainting. This sounds easy, theorectically, but..... let's just say there has to be a deep place in hell where no one can do anything but tear down wall paper. It is the worst chore in the the entire world. So tedious and never-ending and grueling. Yuck. Anyways, after we finished that task, we had 3 days left to move everything from our old house to this one, and clean BOTH houses.

At this point, I was seriously stressing out! Andrew and I were staying up till 2 am every morning trying to make this move happen, and still having to go to work every day or night, with 2 children that became very ornery and defiant in the stress of everything,.... all on 5 hours of sleep each night. I can tell you that its just not a pleasant combo.

In the midst of all of this, God just showed Himself so faithful. One guy helped Andrew move some furniture for a couple of hours, and when he left, another guy just "happened" to have some free time and swung by to help Andrew finish up. One friend of mine helped me scrub everything down in our old place, and I was amazed how much we were able to get accomplished.

Still, on the last night, the deadline of when we were supposed to be completely out, I was about to crack; we still had SOOOO much work left to do. 2 couples "randomly" showed up at our place around 9:30 pm, and we had that place spotless by midnight! Amazing!!! And the ladies at church watched Marcail and Donovan the entire next morning for me, just so I could have some down-time to myself.

As I look back on this last week, my heart is so touched with the awareness that the Lord cares for us so much! He loves to show Himself able! As we were finishing up that last night, I truly felt as though He had come over and given me a bear hug. Everything was going to be alright; He was going to make sure of it : )

Done Deal

Yesterday we signed the lease on the house! We are very excited; and have more to do than I even want to think about right now! Our agent said that they had been bombarded with applications, and we were picked as # 1 choice out of all of them. Isn't that remarkable?! And isn't our God so good to us?

The next two days will be filled with prepping the new house; cleaning it, sprucing up the yard, and.... PAINTING the walls (obviously my favorite part)! You have to understand, we have not been permitted to paint the walls of any place we have ever lived in. So now I have 4.5 years of pent-up painting frenzy just oozing out of me right now. Yesterday I went and picked out some colors to discuss with Andrew, and I think tonight we are going to purchase a couple of 5 gallon tubs. YAY!!!

So all the painting needs to be finished by Sunday, and we have until the 1st to be completely out of our current place. I have been blessed with ladies here offering to help watch the children and/or help me clean this place after everything gets moved out of it.

Plan on seeing some before and after pics. And pray that I don't lose my head in the business of the next week!

...And Take 3

Here is a picture of our final choice:

We handed in an application this afternoon. Its a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home with a den and a living room. Most importantly, it has a back yard (what I really want for the children) and a two car garage (what Andrew really wants) : ) The asking price is the same as what we wanted to pay for the townhome we were interested in earlier.

Even better is that it "happens" to be in the SAME neighborhood as where we are now! It will literally take us only 2 minutes of driving time to get from our current place to this house. How's that for an easy move??!

I'll keep you posted on updates!

Housing Update: Take 2 : )

Well, we had thought we would know more about our next housing arrangement by today, but it seems that we have a number of leads that are hopeful... which is actually good news! I'm glad at this point that we do have some options to work with! Hopefully by Thursday, all the dust will have settled and we will have a final answer : )

I just want to thank all of you for your prayers for us. Many of my friends here have mentioned how crazy it is that we have so little time and yet have peace about the whole situation working out. I love how the Lord has put His hand over our little family and put our hearts at rest. I have complete confidence that this story will end simply and beautifully; I just don't know exactly what that will be at this point!

Housing Update

Keep praying, because we have no update!!! 20 days and counting....

We found a condo that we really like and would suit our needs perfectly. However the owner wants more for it in rent than we are willing to pay. BUT, if no one has claimed it by Tuesday, its ours for our asking price. I don't mind asking you to pray that no one else takes it : )

Queen Marcail

Marcail has come to the understanding that she is a princess, that Donovan is a prince, Daddy is the King, and mommy, well, mommy is a princess, too. That's what I'd rather be; not a queen. I think it comes down to the fact that princesses are loved and adored, while queens are respected, feared, have a ton of responsibility, and don't get to have fun- at least, that's how it seems : )

Andrew was walking away after letting Marcail and Donovan play in the KidsClub at the gym. Marcail called out after him, "DADDY! Kiss-a me, please!"

He thought, "How cute." So he turned around and walked back towards her.

When he got right next to her, she stuck out her hand.

And she said, matter-of-factly, "Kiss-a my hand."

I'm thinking that she would rather enjoy being a queen.

: )

Zoo with Daddy

A couple of weeks ago, we all went to the zoo, and Andrew got to come with us! This was the first time that he's been with us here, and we had such a great time together. We had perfect Colorado weather, too. It was so nice not taking the stroller this time; just one adult per child : ) which worked beautifully. I think we will be making it a tradition to get a swirl cone to split each time we go in the future - those are SO yummy! Plus, for whatever reason, Marcail and Donovan weren't interested in eating it, so mommy and daddy had to share it all by themselves. It was tough. But we managed : )

Thank you, Grandma for the year pass! We will be making good use out of it.

Keep Moving

We are moving again - still in the Springs, but to another housing arrangement that will cost less than what we are renting for now. But.... we have no idea where!!! Andrew gave our leasing agents the 30 day notice this past weekend, so we have 27 days and counting, left to discover our new casa.

This is gonna keep us busy. We will be moving for the 5th time in 4 years. On the bright side, it has kept us from accumulating "stuff." And on the other hand, I wouldn't mind resting somewhere for a couple of years! And on the other hand (I know, I sound like the Fiddler on the Roof dad), if we aren't moving back to the Carolinas anytime soon, I think we should just move to Australia for a few years : ) Wouldn't that be fun?!?!

He is Faithful

Thank you all for your prayers; I have yet to understand how or why prayers work, I just know that God is alive and real. This week has gone by relatively smoothly, and I am so thankful! Today is/was the official due date of our baby, and I have felt peace in it.

Sometimes life doesn't paint the picture we would have painted, sometimes the road before us is nothing like what we would have chosen. Sometimes even God's promises to us come to pass differently than we had envisioned in our minds. But He is faithful and good.

Although I don't view the Lord as someone who strikes us with tragedies to teach us a lesson, I know with certainty that if we let Him, He will make something beautiful from every hardship - and, as I said, sometimes that doesn't look like what we expect.

He may not make our desert a lush paradise, but He will at least provide rivers and a path through the wilderness while we journey through it. Thank you for being part of the refreshing for me.

Isaiah 43:

18 “ Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.

¹⁹ Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert.

²⁰ The beast of the field will honor Me,
The jackals and the ostriches,
Because I give waters in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert,
To give drink to My people, My chosen.

²¹ This people I have formed for Myself;
They shall declare My praise.

What's in a Day

Here's a text conversation, with Andrew, from a few days ago:

Andrew: Have you been to the gym today?

Anneke: No

Anneke: But I made you some meatloaf : )

Anneke: & chicken salad

Anneke: & bathed the children (saved Donovan from drowning in the tub)

Anneke: & cleaned the children's room and the office

Anneke: & did dishes

Andrew: Wow!

Anneke: Played outside

Anneke: Put Marcail in time out

Anneke: Put a book in time out

Anneke: Put myself in time out (sigh)

Andrew: Nice

Anneke: Stepped on a puzzle on the kitchen floor and almost screamed but didn't (while fixing lunch)

Anneke: Talked to April on the phone

Anneke: Read my Bible

Anneke: & now I'm relaxing in bed : )

It was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon. The evening was just as full as the earlier part of the day!

I did not make it to the gym : )

Request

I ask you all for prayers during the next week. Originally, I would have been birthing a baby any day now. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with gratitude in the way that the Lord has carried me through this heart-ache, and given me peace and very real joy. And other times I feel overwhelmed with the heart-ache. This week has already started surprising me by the very strong emotions of grief - more than I care to feel. But I guess it is just one of those things I have to work through whether I want to or not. The "due date" will come, as much as it will hurt, and it will go. I feel impatient to already be on the other end of this week....

The Things They'll Repeat...

It has truly been an adventure in teaching our children. I mean, we have to teach them everything! They come to us with a blank slate and its up to us to write on it what we want on it. Its almost intimidating. And, sometimes its downright funny when they start repeating your own phrases.

Like Marcail said, "sure" long before she started saying, "yes." She got that from me. And Donovan is saying, "yep!" So cute....hmmmm..... I'm not really sure where he got that! I got into the habit of saying, "Oh, gosh," some time ago; which I've had to break upon Andrew's reproof in hearing Marcail repeat it. Once, I heard her say it and I had a very strange mix of thoughts: "Oh NO!" and, " That is the cutest thing she's ever said!" I think I gawked and then laughed... until I caught Andrew's look. Oops : )

Since Marcail's potty training days are not too far behind her, she will follow Andrew and me around and tell us, " Good job! I'm so PROUD of you!!!" after we finish using the bathroom. Today, in fact, Marcail was supposed to be napping, but as soon as she heard the toilet flush in the bathroom next to her, Andrew and I both heard her jump up and exclaim, "OH! I see! (that is one of her favorite phrases too) You went potty! I'm so PROUD of you!!!!"

Just a couple of days ago, I was going through the alphabet with her, and she now knows that "Marcail" starts with "M," "Donovan" starts with "D," and mommy and daddy's names start with "A." We started going through her friends' names, "Kadence," and her brother, "Keaton." She understood that Kadence's name starts with a "K" but when I said that Keaton's did too, there was a pause. She tilted her head up at me, "Keaton's name starts with 'K' ?" "Yes," I said confidently. There was another pause. "You sure?" she questioned. To which I doubled over laughing for a couple of reasons. First off, that was the first time she ever even said those words, and secondly, because of COURSE I'm sure!!! I had to call Andrew up right away and relay the story to him : )

And lastly, during their naptime (again), Marcail and Donovan heard a motorcycle rev past, to which they bounced up and down on their mattress (you can clearly hear the squeaks and thuds) and shouted, "Oh! Bye motorcycle! Bye!"--- I know they were furiously waving, because that is how they always say goodbye---- "See ya later! Bye!"

Oh, they do make me laugh!

Birthday Party for M & D

Since Marcail and Donovan's birthdays fall so closely together (3 days), it is easiest at this point to do double birthday parties.... which I figure I should enjoy while it lasts. Eventually, Marcail will probably want pink princesses and "girls only." And Donovan will want water- gun fights and arm wrestling contests,----- or something------ (what DO boys want for their parties, anyways?). Right now, Marcail is just as content with blue as Donovan is with pink, and they have the same bunch of friends from church. That makes it easy for me! And they loved it too, which was the most important thing for me.

It was nice that Grandma could be here for the party, too. Planning a party is work, no matter how how "simple" you make it, and help is always gladly accepted! We had a great time.

The only complaint I got at the party was that it is hard to stick to a diet when you come to our house. I have to admit, I take pride in that : )

Everyone hangin' out with food and sun. Perfect.

Pool time!

Having fun playing outside. It was gorgeous weather!

Donovan's cake was vanilla ice cream between oreo and brownie layers, with a chocolate sauce on top. Yummy!

Marcail's cake consisted of cherry-chocolate ice cream between oreo and a brownie layers, with a berry delicious sauce on top. Sorry, I couldn't resist the joke : )

Present opening time!

How cute is this fireman's hat?!?!

They got a lot of help opening their gifts...

Marcail and "Can-Can." Gil was taking pictures at this point, so we have quite a few with Candace in them : )

The busy afternoon is winding down...

They just love these puzzles! I need to find some more with numbers....

Sharing a smile

Grandma helping us clean up afterwards. Actually, who am I kidding? She cleaned up soooooooo much after the party! What a blessing for an extra pair of hands. Especially hers : )

He better enjoy those precious seconds with Marcail's new doll, "Bella," before she catches him playing with it! I'll let your imagination tell you the end of this story; it'll be pretty close to accurate : )

Donovan is 2

Donovan was very much a surprise present to our family. Marcail was only 3 months old when he was conceived. People ask us if we wanted our children close together; yes, is the answer, but we certainly weren't planning on them being THAT close together! It was also amazing to me how many people made remarks that I would pull my hair out and go crazy with my children being so close together. I am so pleased that none of their comments came to fruition. Most of the time : ) Actually, if I could do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I would definitely have them close together again. In fact, if we ever get pregnant again, I would not be against doing the same pattern, this time on purpose.

Anyways, back to Donovan : ) He is such a delight. I don't know what it is with mothers and sons, but he certainly pulls on my heart strings like no other. Somehow I find it very easy to have patience with him; not that I don't with Marcail, but when she wants to be defiant, she gives me that "look." You know what I mean, that, "I'm-going-to-do-this-on-purpose-just-to- push-your-buttons" look (which has forced me to get rid of some of my buttons!) Donovan will give me another look. It says, "I'm too innocent and cute to understand what you are saying, and we can make a fun game out of this anyways," which I find difficult to not at least smile! So I have to watch myself carefully to make sure he doesn't get away with more than Marcail does!

He is playful, and so smiley. He loves trucks, balls, and balloons. He imitates Marcail so well, and learns very well from her example - which can be good and bad, of course! He loves being tickled and will sometimes lay down next to me just so I can tickle him and make him squeal. When I pick him up, he almost always lays his head on my shoulder and cuddles. He will come up to Andrew and me, and give us kisses at any time. And he LOVES food - he eats as much as I do, and he only just turned 2! Donovan is also such a sociable little boy; he gets along with everybody and shares willingly. But sometimes he irritates Marcail like no other; so he is a good little brother in that way : )

I often watch him, adoring all his little features, and wonder what he will be like as a man. I figure he is going to be a genuinely fun and loving person. And super handsome. All the ladies will think he likes them, when, no, he is just being his normal genuine self. Poor girls : ) I cannot put into words the security I feel, knowing that he has such a good example of a man, in his daddy. I will always pray for Donovan, but I don't worry about the man he will become, because Andrew is such an incredible husband and father.

Through the Years; Marcail is now 3

I have actually been dreading this posting. Postponing it you might say (no, that was not intended to be a pun).

My little Marcail, not so little anymore; I think its a psychological thing to try to not evaluate something closely, so I don't have to admit the reality of it, so I don't have to see it staring me fully in the face: Time moves on whether I want it to or not. I could say that no one warned me that it would fly so fast, but that would not be true. Everyone warned me, and I wanted them to be quiet about it; you know how when people give you unasked for advice, and you just want to find out for yourself before you take their word for it? Well, its true! I can hardly remember the time when she was a baby, and she's only 3!

Marcail was born a gorgeous little girl, and she has just grown to become even more beautiful through the years. She was born with a very content and happy disposition - such a smiley little baby and so trusting. I remember thinking how I would ever be able to tell her that the whole world doesn't smile all the time. Somehow she figured it out, though; these days she is sure to look you over a couple of times and you can see the wheels in her mind spinning as she eyes you over. She loves details; they fascinate her. She would rather sit down and figure out a puzzle than watch a movie ---sometimes I wish she would just chill out and watch a movie! She has a strong, independent streak. I'm not sure where she got that?! : ) She still has her happy disposition, and nothing makes her more happy than to help out with something, especially since she is and always has been go-go-go. Its when she is bored that she gets ornery so she needs to be busy! She asks tons of questions and never fails to amaze me at what she understands and what she figures out on her own.

My dear Marcail, no one explained to me what a joy it was going to be, to be your mother. No one was ever able to put into words what a mother feels when her child is placed in her arms for the first time. I never understood how my heart would swell when you said "Mommy" for the first time, or when just yesterday you exclaimed loudly with your arms open wide, "Mommy, I want to give you a hug!" You have truly made my life more beautiful, more precious. You are such a joy in my life, and I wish these days could last forever, that I will never have to kiss you goodbye. But more than that, I hope to give you such a life that you will be well equipped to be such a lady that the world desperately needs to make a beautiful mark on it, and leave it forever changed. I hope to be such a mother, along with your father, to shape you into such a lady. I want to be that lady for you, so that you know how it can be done. I love you so much, my darling little girl, growing so fast and not so little anymore! Thank you for so many sweet memories.....