Lazy Day at Last!

I feel like I have been burning the candle at both ends for over 2 weeks... Today I woke up at 10:00 and stayed in bed another half hour, just because I could! And then I've been chilling out all day and not feeling guilty about it a bit. I do have some errands to run later this afternoon, but I am having fun postponing the inevitable for now : ) What I would give for a week on the beach!!! Right now it sounds like heaven.

Weekend with April/ Gil's Wedding

It was fabulous having April here for the weekend! She's just so much fun to have around and talk with- I don't remember a time of silence at all the whole time she was here : ) We both agreed that it is very nice to have little visits like these where we get each other all to ourselves : )

What's the Chance

....that Biden will step down from the Obama ticket, in the near future, citing "health problems," and be replaced by Hillary - as it has become apparent that McCain's pick of Palin has been a huge success? April and I were discussing that possiblility, just as a "what if" scenario. But today I find that it may not be just an imaginary situation, it actually may be in the works. October 5th is the date I heard for this announcement. Wow, I hope that this is just a bad rumor. Otherwise its just plain old dirty play.

Weekend Tales

Gil and Candace are getting married tomorrow! Andrew and I are getting another "date night" with the rehearsal dinner tonight, as Andrew is honored to be one of the groomsmen. April is coming out for the wedding and we are picking her up from the airport tomorrow! It feels like a holiday when family comes into town : ) I'm so excited!
Today we were all having fun outside with the sidewalk chalk. Andrew, mom, and I were drawing beautiful pictures : ) and Marcail was furiously scribbling- I mean drawing- inside of ours. Donovan became extremely excited and forgot how to crawl in his haste. So he did a painful face plant in the unforgiving cement. It is his worst boo-boo yet. He was a happy boy in about 5 minutes, but he still has a nice cut in his mouth and a swollen upper lip to prove it. Anyways, it is amazing to me how messy children get with chalk! I walked away from 20 minutes of drawing and only my hands were dusty. Marcail and Donovan had blue, green, purple and pink all over their clothes, faces, legs, and hands! It was bath time for them, for sure!!! Plus they got hair cuts. Now they are sleeping after an exhausting morning of hard play. Such a rough life for them, I know : ) Now Andrew and I are off for a run in magnificant autumn weather!

Playing with the Children

I can't explain it; sometimes just rolling around on the floor with Marcail and Donovan and hearing their squeals of laughter makes my heart want to burst with joy. They are so precious to me. Do you ever feel like time is slipping through your fingers like sand? Sometimes it feels almost like an urgency to just soak up every moment and relish it, because it slips away and is gone, never to return again. Live it up!

What I've Been Waiting For!! : )

Its a Date

Andrew made reservations earlier this week for a magnificent Italian restaurant in Denver. We are going on a date next Wednesday night! Now, you have to understand that this is a restaurant that I've wanted to go to since before Marcail was even born- its finally going to happen! Since Andrew and I have very busy schedules till Wednesday, it ended up working out perfectly that we'll have a relaxing romantic dinner date that evening. And here's the icing on the cake: today he said I could buy a dress for it! So I get to go shopping, too : ) He is so good to me.

What We Did on Labor Day

On Labor Day we packed a light picnic and headed for a lovely walk downtown. Downtown Colorado Springs is so beautiful and charming. It is full of little shops and restaurants on clean swept streets and sidewalks, and gorgeous little green parks and fountains. It very much has a small town feel to it- not urbanized at all. To top it off, the weather was as perfect of an autumn day as you could possibly imagine. We will have to go back when the shops are open, though : )

More words!

So after Donovan discovered "dada" and "mama," he started saying "milk," "no," and "ball." I am so amazed at how quickly he's starting to talk! He also has been determined to learn how to climb up and down our flight of stairs, and accomplished that two days ago, and has been traveling up and down with much entertainment and ease. Now if we can only convince him to walk! He is so content with crawling that walking doesn't seem to appeal to him in the least, even though he'll feel secure enough to walk when he's gripping my pinky. I keep telling him that he can do it all on his own : )

Realization

Yesterday marked another month gone by without a new pregnancy. I keep trying to not hope too much, but find that I am, in spite of my efforts. On a lonely drive in the car, I let the tears fall, and told God about how I was feeling. It was a mixture of desiring to trust Him, feeling incapable of doing so completely, having a deep pain of knowing that if my last pregnancy hadn't ended, I would be over halfway already and getting kicks and tumbles from the child inside of me. And at this point I realized that there was a subtle hint of shame that I've felt, without realizing it. I think it comes from the fact that my body wasn't able to keep the baby.
At that moment, God spoke to me, gentle and deep, "Anneke, you are trying to ease the pain of your loss by hoping to quickly replace that child with another one. Anneke, you cannot replace a life." I sucked in my breath sharply and my eyes widened as I realized it was true. Of course I sobbed all the more as I allowed myself to grieve again over my child. There is a line in "Facing the Giants," where a mom who is trying to get pregnant, says in tears,"How can I miss someone so much, that I've never even met?" And that statement is so well expressed.

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